Firstly, I lose many of my so called friends.. they start avoiding me one by one because of dumb reasons, it's just breaking my heart when they started treating me that way, because i love them all.. because of the memories we've made together and things we share to each other.. now, they started calling me obnoxious and selfish cause I've rarely spend time with them? Wow.. to think that for the past years they are most important people in my life, and they started giving up on me? and sadly it's happening again.. I think I maybe lost my best friend in the University.. a people that i trust, a people that i once treated like a brother and a people that i stick by trough thick and thin suddenly being so cold and start blaming me on stupid stuff.. I know that I'm not a perfect person.. hell I've made many annoying and stupid mistakes all my life.. but how could that can affect our friendship that have been about 2 years in making? yeah.. i think what my friends say are true, "even a slightest mistakes can erase all the good deeds'' so stupid that i Think he is that kind of a person.. yeah, maybe I've shouldn't befriend him at first.. but stupidly I did.. because I pity him, struggling alone, with no one to face when having problems, with no parents and some dysfunctional family and because my parents told me to do so.. Maybe I've shouldn't be this caring and kind and dumb to even care about him.. and now what happened? I've been stabbed from all side by him.. i feels so damn betrayed you know, i'm surely despise that type of a person, a person that easily cut you off when things go wrong, so ungrateful and start ignoring a friend that been trough a lot with you without even thinking, I hope someday he'll regret that, when karma slaps him in the face.. or punch his mouth until it's shed blood.. when that happen.. i hope you just come back to me friend, cause I've just not willing a friend like you.. ahh damn it,
another problem is the haters, that is among my most hated problems ever, all my life i'v been hated, judged, make fun of.. even bullied for what i am.. you know how's that feel? it's feel like you are being hated for being true to yourself, it's just you don't have guts to be who you really are, and have to hide behind fake mask just to fit in.. i don't know what is the problem that i've been hated by sooooo many people, even by that person that I rarely know, even by my own family.. not my parents or brother, but the big family.. if you have some problem with me, just tell me straight up, don't talk to my friends.. or behind my back like a coward, hehe even though i've do it all times.. just because I don't want to fight you now? trying to control my anger, or maybe just trying to grow up and start accepting,, not like you.. telling people that's close with me how you hate me, updating status about me.. trying to be sarcastic to make me be a stupid and ignorant person in all 'your friends' eyes... but it doesn't work that way, it just you're are being too damn obvious that you're making fun of yourself.. no pun intended but i can see it at the first time, using my stupid and simple brain you fool.. why don't you try to sharpen your talent at being sarcastic before you start telling things about me.. yeah? i'll give you a chance.. or maybe 1000 chances for that.. heh,
ok, that is it.. i feel sleepy already,,, but thanks cause at least i can let of some steam, maybe I've should have a real diary..
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